


Beneath Everything You Believe

by Storylandqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:37:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storylandqueen/pseuds/Storylandqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before John Winchester came home from the war, Mary Campbell had a guardian angel she called Anna.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beneath Everything You Believe

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for SPN Femslash Week '11 on Tumblr.

“I wish I could protect you,” Anna admitted as Mary sat up on the bed, dipping a finger into the clay pot on the desk next to her. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“What are you talking about?” Mary asked with a smile as she tucked her hair back, staring up at the woman she’d always thought to be her guardian angel.

“Bad things are going to happen.” Anna told her. “The course of destiny is something I cannot stop, and in the future, I won’t be able to be there for you.”

“What? But... you’ve always been here.” Mary said, her face twisted in confusion as she pushed herself up from the bed..

“Just because I always have been doesn’t mean I always will be.”

“But why?” Mary persisted, her slender fingers curling around Anna’s wrist and creating small points of pressure she thought the angel probably had to concentrate to feel.

“Because you were born for something very important and if I stay, I might try to stop that to protect you.” Anna said, removing her free hand from the pot and touching a fingertip delicately to Mary’s nose, leaving a small smear of what felt like oil. “You’re going to be responsible for great things, but you will suffer, and I can’t stand by and watch that without doing something.”

Anna’s calm expression cracked halfway through, turning to something akin to painful regret, and Mary felt concern begin to twist inside her stomach - not just for herself, but for her angel. “What will they do to you?” She whispered, her hand sliding up the bare flesh of Anna’s arm as Anna cupped her face.

“I’ll probably be reassigned. Maybe sent for more training, who knows?” Anna tilted her head to the side and gave a wan smile. “All I know is that I won’t be here.”

Mary swallowed down the urge to scream and stepped closer to Anna until their bodies nearly touched, unable to reconcile herself with the idea that Anna, the person that had been guiding her steps for as long as she could remember, would be leaving her. She wanted to wrap her hands around Anna’s pale shoulders and shake her, insist that they couldn’t take her away because she belonged exactly where she was, that she was needed. The only thing that stopped her was the insistent little voice at the back of her head asking what claim Mary could possibly have on the angel that would be good enough to keep Anna there.

Dropping her head, Mary gave herself a moment before forcing her eyes back up and she asked, “When will you leave?”

The expression in Anna’s eyes was heartbreaking as her hand slipped from Mary’s cheek into her hair, carding through the thick blonde locks. “When you wake up.”

Jerking in shock, Mary let her hand fall from Anna’s shoulder and Anna removed her hand as well, instantly making Mary regret her reaction because she wanted that comforting contact back. “You couldn’t have told me sooner?” She asked accusingly, feeling hurt. “Why did you wait to tell me now?”

“If it helps any, you won’t remember me when I’m gone. I’ll be completely erased from your memory.” Anna said, but her words weren’t consoling at all. They only made the urge to scream stronger and Mary balled her hands into fists, felt her nails cutting into her skin as she fought to keep from exploding about how entirely unfair everything was.

“If I won’t remember, then why did you even bother telling me?” Mary asked, her voice trembling from rage and a rush of other emotions she didn’t want to name.

This time it was Anna that ducked her head, red hair falling like a curtain around her beautiful face. When she looked back up, her bottom lip was caught between her teeth and she wore a smile that looked a little bit like guilt.

“Because I wanted to know you would care. I was selfish and wanted to see just how much you would miss me if you could.” Anna reached out to touch her. “I don’t want to leave you, Mary.”

Somehow, that one statement made the fury drain out of Mary and she hurt less after hearing out loud what was practically an admission that Anna would miss her, too. Throwing her arms around the slim angel, Mary pressed herself against Anna and breathed in the familiar scent of her hair, trying to convey without words just how much Anna would be missed. Arms wrapped around her waist, holding her snug, and Mary exhaled her words against Anna’s neck, her voice determined and firm. “I wouldn’t let anything take you from me if I could help it.”

“You are my most precious task, Mary.” Anna told her softly, lips against her ear. “I want to ask you to trust me one more time before we part. Let me have one more indulgence.”

Pulling back enough to see Anna’s face, Mary gave a faint nod. “I’d trust you with anything. Whatever you want, the answer’s yes.”

Anna unlocked her arms from behind Mary’s back, freeing her from the iron hold and gesturing at the pots on the desk. “I want to cover you with symbols of protection and seal them with my intent. And I want to give you this.”

Anna lifted one arm and twisted it from side to side, making the charms on her bracelet catch the light and give a soft noise as the hit against each other. Blinking rapidly, Mary’s eyes traveled over the protection charms of several religions, then at Anna’s calm features, thinking of dreams spent sitting at Anna’s side, Anna’s wrist in her lap as she fingered through the multiple charms and talked about anything she wanted, because Anna always listened to her. 

She had asked once why an angel needed so many symbols of protection, but Anna had only smiled and shook her head. Now Mary wondered if the bracelet had always been meant for her.

“You’re really pulling out all the stops, aren’t you?” She asked unsteadily.

“I want you to be safe,” Anna answered as she unhooked the bracelet. “Even when I’m not here.”

It was on the tip of Mary’s tongue to ask if Anna would ever come back, but she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from asking, some instinct telling her she wouldn’t like the way her angel would look if she asked that question. Instead, she kept her silence and held our her arm, allowing Anna to fix the silver bracelet around her wrist.

Once the latch caught, Anna let her fingertips rest on the pale underside of Mary’s wrist for a moment before pulling away, then Mary held up her arm to see the way the charms fell against her skin. “Thank you,” Mary said quietly, still looking at the charms and wondering if she would remember how much value the bracelet held tomorrow.

“You’re welcome.” The corners of Anna’s lips turned upwards into a small, almost smile. “Let me draw the protection sigils now.”

Dropping her arm back to her side, Mary nodded. “What do I need to do?”

“Remove your shirt and lay down.” Anna told her, turning away to pick up the jar of oil and cradle it between her palms.

Surprised, but undaunted, Mary took a deep breath and nodded before she began undoing the buttons of her plaid shirt. Her fingers nimbly pushing the buttons through their holes, Mary moved back towards the bed and allowed her shirt to fall from her shoulders to the floor when she was finished.There was a moment when she hesitated about her bra, unsure if it should remain, but she pushed aside her sudden nerves and reached behind her back to undo the hooks, allowing it to fall to the floor as well.

Topless, she crawled onto the bed and moved to the middle before laying down on her back, hair thrown out across the pillow in a splash of color. The comforter felt cool against her skin and Mary wiggled slightly as she stared up at the ceiling, able to see Anna from the corner of her vision when she stepped close enough to the bed.

The oil pot was placed on the nightstand and Mary stilled, moving only her eyes to watch as Anna submerged her hand into the pot and drew it back out, dripping. Anna moved her hand until it was hovering just over the center of Mary’s chest and then stared into Mary’s eyes with such an intense expression that Mary wondered if she was trying to tell her something.

“Do you still trust me?” Anna whispered.

A drop of oil fell from Anna’s fingers onto Mary’s skin and she inhaled in surprise at the warmth before she answered, “Yes,” not entirely sure there was anyone else she would trust in this situation.

Mary jumped at Anna’s touch against her skin, fingertips smearing warm oil into symbols across her skin, traveling along her collarbone and traversing her breasts. Some of the designs crept up her neck while some dipped low down her abdomen, and the faint drag of Anna’s nails made her shiver when the marks curled along the sensitive skin of her sides. The symbols varied and there were so many that eventually Mary lost track and she expected with each dip of Anna’s hand into the pot that she would come up dry, but her fingers were always dripping with the thick, warm liquid.

There was a faint smell that was starting to permeate the air and Mary wondered if that was oil on her skin before Anna lowered her head and kissed the symbol between Mary’s breasts, making her gasp at the surge of heat that traveled from Anna’s lips through the design. “Beh rah en seh geh,” Anna murmured against Mary’s skin, her breath tickling flesh and raising goosebumps.

“What,” Mary cleared her throat and pushed her hands beneath her pillow, grasping at it’s case. “What’s that mean?”

Anna ignored her and continued on her path, fingers retracing designs before she would lean in and kiss them, warmth always traveling from the press of her mouth along the symbol. “Beh leh ah en ess.”

Another kiss, another wave of heat prickling at her skin and Mary turned her fact into her arm as incomprehensible angelic words were murmured against her body. Mary wasn’t sure how long she stayed there, allowing Anna’s touch and words and lips to wash over her skin, but she knew when it was over because Anna stilled, her lips lingering just above Mary’s navel.

Turning her face back to Anna, she watched as the angel raised herself up and move closer to the top of the bed. Reaching out, Anna pressed her fingers against Mary’s lips and smiled sadly, her fingers trailing oil along Mary’s cheek as she held onto her face. Bending over, she placed a brief, chaste kiss to Mary’s mouth and then pulled away.

“Ah pee lah,” Anna whispered, and the way her words sounded like a plea made something in Mary’s heart break.

Feeling tears swell in her eyes, Mary reached out and grabbed for Anna’s hand, the one that she’d held against her mouth and stared up at her, trying to find the words to describe the desperation clawing at her throat. She felt as though she couldn’t speak and even if she could, Mary wasn’t sure what good it would do when she didn’t even know why things felt so wrong. 

“I’m sorry,” Anna whispered, laying down beside her, their clasped hands resting between them as she pressed her face into the curve where Mary’s shoulder met her neck.

“I don’t blame you,” Mary whispered, her voice sounding almost like a croak as the tears spilled over.

“You should.”

Anna’s breath tickled her neck and Mary held onto her hand tighter as she stared up at the ceiling, whispering defiantly into the dark. “Never.”

“Even when I’m gone, I want you to know that angels will be watching over you.” Anna pressed on. “No matter what you think, you will never be alone.”

“It won’t matter if they’re not you.”

“But you won’t remember that.” Anna reminded Mary as she placed her free hand on Mary’s hip, fingers hooking through the belt loop on her jeans.

“Anna,” Mary started softly, not wanting to think things like that. “If this is the last night I’ll ever see you, will you sing to me? Like when I was a child?”

“I sing to you every night,” Anna confessed, curling around Mary’s body. “It’s just sometimes you can’t hear me.”

“I...” Mary stopped, choking on words she wasn’t sure she had the right to say..

“Shh,” Anna whispered comforting. “Just listen. Just listen, Mary.”

Nodding, Mary blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill again and listened to Anna’s soft, melodic voice sing her an angelic lullaby. Usually Anna would sing to her in English, but not always, and those nights always seemed special for some reason, but this time all Mary could think about was how she would never understand the last words Anna ever said to her.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mary wondered if Anna’s words were similar to the ones that she herself wouldn’t say.

Eventually Mary’s tears faded away and sleep, or wakefulness, began to drag her away. She tried to fight it, clung to Anna’s hand as the angel continued to sing, but her eyes were slipping shut. The last thing she heard was Anna’s voice, her final words to Mary a soft promise of _I will never forget you._


End file.
